Believe people when they tell you who they are

People show you who they are with their actions

I know so many of us get confused because whoever says that they love us, but they’re never there for us. Trying looking at it like this, if someone says they love you, watch to see if they back it up with their actions. What someone says is not the end all be all of how they really feel.

Actions speak louder than words. Your actions follow your value system. You can only fake for so long what you really feel inside.

This is why the saying goes, if you give someone enough rope, they’ll hang themselves.

We try to make excuses for people, they’re busy, they just forgot. And maybe a once in a while thing, but if this is their chronic behavior, you are being way too easy on them. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to keep someone in your life who doesn’t care if they’re there or not.

Are you the one always making plans? Are you the one always going over? You are a filler, grade B to that person. It doesn’t mean that’s what you are, because we all know that how someone else see’s you doesn’t define you. That being said, you’re validating that assessment to yourself every time you allow that mess to be going on, if you view that person as an equal. Just think about where this path could lead someone over years and years? It’s not a good place.

You don’t deserve to be someone’s back up option. If you’re concerned that someone that you care about in your life, might be like this, back off a little bit. You’re not their mother or father, they have your number. And let them show you, when given the choice, where they fall. You have to walk in the light of the truth, and put your energy towards things that help you build yourself, projects, and other people up, not continue to be your own instigator.

Let me be clear, it is up to you to set the boundary. You can’t get mad at someone for crossing a fence that you never built. It’s not up to them to just start caring more. It’s up to you, to not set them up for failure and yourself for disappointment.

It hurts when we have to let someone go, but realize if they’re not there for you, you’re really just letting go of the idea of them or who you wanted them to be, because if they were really who you wanted them to be, you wouldn’t be thinking all this right now.

--

--

--

Writer, mover, ground breaker

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

What to Ask When You Don’t Know What You Need

To Myself 20 Years Ago

Many colorful helium balloons along a ceiling, strings hanging down below them.

Few Quotes to keep you positive

To all the Codependents

10 Ways To Increase Self-Trust

Personal Development & Why It Is Important

How I Turned Being Self-conscious into Confidence and Authenticity

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Hannah Fernald

Hannah Fernald

Writer, mover, ground breaker

More from Medium

Mike Pence: Unlikely American Hero

Where to find records of those who lived in Henrico County, Virginia during the 1600s

My Top 5 Reads of 2021

Surviving Bell’s Palsy