The downfall of being the PROTAGONIST of your own life

We are the protagonists of our own life. Right? We tend to be the heros of our own story. We look back on our life, all the people that have wronged us, remember the scares that people inflicted upon us. We seek justice. All that good stuff. Look, everyone has that perspective.

Let’s get really real. That girl who stole your boyfriend, she’s the antagonist of your life, but the protagonist of her own life. And I’ve been in the situation where I didn’t realize the guy I was dating had just broken up with another girl and now I’m the antagonist of her life, but I’m just a girl over here trying to have a love story.

What’s my point? My point is simply that things are not always black and white. For the most part, people tend to not be as good or as bad as we think. We ourselves are not generally as good or as bad as we think.

This has helped me, the next time you really feel slighted by someone and you label them and label yourself, think. Have I ever been on the other side of this? How would I have wanted someone else to respond to me?

I once had a girl tell me she thought she was better than me at something. This was in middle school so my fragile ego took this pretty hard. I doubt she would even remember this off handed remark. How likely is it that I’ve said something off handedly that could have hurt someone else?

I guess my real point is that it could do us all some good to open the possibility to ourselves that in someone elses story, we’re maybe not the same character. It’s just something to think about. It’s honestly helped me not feel like such a victim in the world because truly we’re all just humans, hopefully trying to get better.

Everything you do doesn’t have to be productive

Maybe someone just needs to hear this today

You don’t need to make money off of your hobby

Doing something just because you get pleasure out of it, is enough

You don’t have to work every day of the week and drive yourself to the bone

Look, I think that everyone should be productive on this earth to some degree, but I think in western culture we’ve driven it to an extreme where our very lives have become a brand and everything has to be cool and have the ability to be monetized.

That’s a big reason why I do this podcast, is just because I like sharing with people and talking and some of my favorite moments in life are over sweet, deep, genuine conversation. That might not be someone elses idea of fun, but that’s kind of my point. Your idea of fun doesn’t have to look like someone elses.

Being overstressed and overworked is a huge problem. It’s like if you’re not going to school, working three jobs, working out, having a vibrant social life you’re behind, but maybe we need to change our expectations. We need to be picky about what we put on our plate.

Alls to say, you don’t have to make money off of something for it to have value to you.

You are what you eat

This is something that people take a long time to get for some reason. And if this isn’t you, then great! Let this be just a gentle reminder or confirmation. This could just be my experience, but when I talk to people my age, young twenties, most of the time, there’s some kind of disconnect.

Think of it like this, you are what you eat doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to morph into a donut, but it does mean you produce what you consume. So basically if you sit on the couch and eat all day, which is one way to live, you do you I guess, but don’t expect to see a six pack any time soon. Don’t expect to be able to run a marathon, don’t expect to date a model, don’t expect to feel great, because why would your body reward you for treating it that way?

Whether you realize it or not what you let into your life through movies, books, music, friends, politics, news, self-talk you name it, that’s what’s going to come out. So if you’re constantly listening to stuff about crime, drugs, partying all night, hate, laziness, just plane negativity, what do you think you’re going to produce?

Why do we think we can produce love with hate? It sounds cheesey, but I see us getting so upset when we don’t have the job, the lifestyle that we want, boo boo, maybe you haven’t earned it.

I remembered a couple years ago I had a friend of mine who started a business, same age as me, her own boss, making tons of money. I talked to her about it. She said she didn’t know if it was worth it because she had no idea how much work it would be. The stress of not knowing if they were gonna get business or not. She basically never stopped working. She’s still doing her business today and is doing very well. That being said, she put up the risk, the money, time, the energy to make this thing happen. Her life.

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Writer, mover, ground breaker

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Hannah Fernald

Hannah Fernald

Writer, mover, ground breaker

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